You have all been lied to.
Four women at different stages of singledom; at different stages of life. They are certainly funny. They love to shop and get into some serious trouble, but everything is always ends up being ok, glazed with the proper mix of humor and philosophy. And the men, there are sooooo many, it’s hard to keep track.
I am talking about the ever-so-popular Sex and the City, Right?
Wrong!
I am talking about the one, the only, Golden Girls!
I’ll let this soak in for a second.
Yeah, it hurts. The big wig television execs have pulled a fast one on all of us. I am just as much of a fan of both shows as any heterosexual male. I knew Carrie and Aidan weren't supposed be together, he was too good for her. And Carrie just can’t deal with emotionally available men. And I also knew that
See, I know what I am talking about. I feel your pain.
Let’s break it down.
Rose is
This one isn’t that much of a stretch. They are both a little ditzy and very naive. Ok, they aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed. But don’t let that fool you; they come through in the clutch. They are both very sensitive, and can get a little freaky in bed. It’s true. Trust me, I know from experience. No? Well, a buddy of mine, him and her, they go it on! Not working for you? Well, imagine if Rose got freaky in the sack. That would be sweet.
Sophia is Miranda
One is Italian, the other is Irish. Either way, they are both hideous to look at. They are strong women who are more cynical than Presidential candidate Al Goldstein (see previous post). They are two sarcastic, fugly ladies with very rough exteriors. Need I say more?
Blanch Devereau is Samantha
This is the easiest and most glaringly obvious paring.
They are both whores. Ok, sexually liberated. They both have had countless gentlemen callers and are more than willing to flaunt their “prowess” to the three other women in their lives.
Don’t worry; I’ve saved the best for last.
Dorothy is Carrie
They are the protagonists in the story of life (insert farting noise here). Carrie has Mr. Big, Dorothy has Stanley Zbornak. Dorothy and Carrie are both the glue that often holds their friends together, a Mecca of neutrality for their respective cliques while fixing disputes without taking sides.
They both love shoes. Dorothy happens to love the orthopedic, Velcro variety, which has yet to be designed by Manolo Blahnik.
They are both house-proud; Carrie’s one-bedroom in the upper east side vs. The Golden palace in South Florida. Carrie’s sanctuary is in her apartment dressed in PJ’s with her life partner, her laptop. Dorothy loves to spend time on the couch draped in her bathrobe (hot) with her life mate, her mother, Sophia. I am also pretty sure they both have penises.
I’m sorry if I ruined it. But, at least we won’t be living a lie anymore.
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